It’s been six months since I have started practicing yoga regularly, and boy, a lot has changed since then.
Internally, I feel so much more balanced than I was before, and this comes through in my physical practice. Just two months ago it would have been difficult to come into the birds of paradise pose (above) at all. My mind was constantly buzzing with thoughts and anxieties. So much so that it was difficult to find ease and peace in being slow or still. I kept rushing through yoga and felt frustrated every time I lost my balance in one-legged asana.
These days mind is clearer, and my heart is more open. My practice has been such a gift :).
As a millennial, I have been raised in a world of blogs and social media (in my country during my early teens Friendster was the bomb). I have curated a total of 8 or 9 blogs with varying degrees of cringe-worthiness since the age of 13. I had the tendency to create a blog, abandon it whenever I experienced a big change in my life/outlook/personality, delete it, and create a new one.
One thing that has remained pretty constant across all of my blogging experiences is my tendency to write whenever I feel sad or a little bit empty. I don’t know why, or if others experience/d the same compulsion, but I tend to write when I am feeling down. What is interesting about that is the fact that I generally do not feel the desire to write when I am happy or simply content. Happiness and contentment were always just taken-for-granted “normal” states of being which did not merit 500 words on a page.
Now, in my mid-twenties on this journey towards greater mindfulness, I find myself seeing the importance of not only being mindful of the negative thoughts and emotions, but of the positive ones as well. Awareness of the bad energy within yourself is a really important first step, but reflecting on and appreciating the good helps to strike what I want to call a “balance in consciousness”.
So today, I write because I feel good. I write to remind myself that even though there are days that feel agonisingly long and moments which feel heartbreakingly short, the general tone of my life is positive. It is not always obvious, and I take it for granted while it is happening, but that is the default – an unrecorded sense of simply being OK.